On the one hand, men are very simple. They don’t require a whole lot of complicated study to understand. On the other hand, they don’t give you very much to work with. If you find yourself trying to better understand your guy (even when he doesn’t open up), we have some advice you may find helpful.
Simple Ways to Better Understand Your Man
Let’s be clear about one thing from the start: All men are unique and there’s no one-size-fits-all approach. It’s up to you to determine the best path forward, to experiment with different ideas, to ditch the tactics that prove ineffective, and to focus on the steps that work.
In light of this, here are some simple ways many women are better understanding their men. Perhaps they’ll work for you, too.
- Ask the Right Questions
Most men aren’t going to volunteer deep, emotional sentiments on their own – at least not early on in a relationship when trust is still being built. It’s possible that your man isn’t opening up to you because you aren’t compelling him to do so. By asking the right questions, you can increase the likelihood that he pulls back the curtain and lets you in.
The key is to ask good questions – meaning questions that give him room to maneuver and steer the conversation. Examples include:
- Are you close with your family?
- What would you do if [insert problem]?
- How do you handle your money?
- What makes you feel most fulfilled?
- What makes you feel respected?
- What’s something I don’t already know about you?
Avoid asking questions that are too targeted, as they’ll make your man feel constricted. If you ask too many pointed questions before your man is ready to open up, you’ll actually create the opposite effect. He’ll shut down even more.
- Talk to His Closest Friends
Guys might be hesitant to open up, but if your man has been friends with the same group of guys for years, they know plenty about him. They’ve shared things with one another and developed a strong bond. You can learn a lot by talking to his closest friends.
The key here is to not overstep. You aren’t asking his friends to divulge secrets. You’re simply seeking to understand your man better. Ask them how they think you should do X, Y, or Z and they’ll provide all of the information you need to better understand the person you’re with.
- Study His Astrology Sign
Did you know that it’s possible to better understand someone by studying their astrology sign? It’s true. People have been using this method for centuries and it’s worth a look.
A Taurus man, for example, might seem stubbornly complicated, but he doesn’t have to be. Once you understand why he acts and thinks in certain ways, you can tap into his identity and reach him on an emotional level.
- Learn His Love Language
Are you familiar with the 5 Love Languages concept? It basically states that every person has one love language that they identify most with. These are words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. By understanding your love language and your partner’s love language, you can better communicate with one another.
Encourage your man to learn his love language (and do the same). It might seem silly or trivial, but it’s a powerful tool for getting on the same page.
Keep an Open Mind
As women, it’s easy to view men as being too simple and detached. We get on them for not opening up and being transparent or emotional with us. But the reality is that men have a different experience growing up.
While we’re taught, culturally and experientially, that it’s good to be in touch with our emotions, men are taught to push them down at all costs. Men are taught (from a very young age) that they need to be tough; that sentimental emotions are feminine.
It’s not up to you to rescue your man from this backwards way of thinking. (The roots are far deeper than you can imagine.) It is, however, a good idea to dig deep and show your man that he can be vulnerable and you won’t pass judgment.
Your man isn’t going to open up overnight. But with a consistent and intentional approach, you’ll eventually experience a breakthrough. And when it comes, your relationship will be stronger on all fronts.
